How does one stay hopeful when overcoming tragic events in life?
This is an excellent question and the answer is one that I spent many years searching for. Unfortunately, there is no quick solution as everyone’s healing is unique and different. Personally, it took years to find a place of healing from the sometimes unbearable journey that was my life. And for a long time, I didn’t think I’d ever find it. In addition to time, it required all the strength I could muster to stay hopeful, even in the face of one setback after another.
I’ve discovered that the process of recovering from tragedy begins with the realization that you need to be ready. No one can be helped if they don’t want to be, don’t believe they can be, or are not ready to accept help. It begins with the realization that you are worthy of happiness, of love. It begins with the realization that you can create the life you want regardless of what you see in your rearview mirror. Even if you don’t completely understand how you’ll move forward, having some semblance of hope is all the fuel you need to begin. Sometimes believing this can be the most difficult thing to accept. You may even experience that voice in your head that tries to convince you that you aren’t good enough or that a better life isn’t possible. What I have learned is that when you are fighting against the odds, it is necessary to ignore that voice and let your hopes for the future guide you towards a path of healing. After all, the voice that tells you it’s not possible is nothing more than the voice of the Conditioned Self, that part of you that is fueled by doubt and despair.
When I was at my lowest point, ignoring those voices felt like a constant battle. I felt alone and powerless against those naysayers–both inside and outside my head. I had to learn that the events in my life that brought me to such a low place didn’t have to define my future, and deciding to make choices that set me on a course towards recovery was one of the best decisions I could have ever made. Even when it was the hardest thing to do at the time, I knew that survival from that dark place depended on being able to envision a light at the end of the tunnel.
Below is an excerpt from my book regarding survival:
What makes someone survive? I believe we need to know that we do have the power to heal ourselves in many ways; we only need to learn what the tools are and that they are available to us. We do this in part by engaging in mindful practices like meditation to cultivate present-moment awareness, getting us out of our heads and away from the stories our minds tell us, as well as somatic movement to get us back into our bodies.
If you want to learn more about methods I recommend you utilize as you begin your healing journey, here is a link to my blog post on the subject.
It is my wish that my story serves as a narrative of hope to you. In addition, please know that you are not alone in your healing journey. There are many resources available to help you get to the place you need to be. Here is an article that showcases the resources available to you.
Always remember: Hang On, Pain Ends (HOPE).