When I began my journey to healing in earnest (I started and quit many times), I eventually discovered that my pain didn’t have to define me. This discovery is one that contributed to a significant improvement in my quality of life. I’m grateful to have found various methods that helped me address my struggles and allowed me to tackle my fears in a way that felt safe. Maybe I’m stating the obvious when I say that everyone’s journey is unique and no two are the same, but I’ve also learned that there is no defined timeline for healing; everyone is different. I’ve stumbled throughout the process and at times felt like giving up again, but am grateful today that I didn’t. And I learned a lot about myself and my beliefs about myself (many erroneous), and even now, years after the darkest of dark has faded, those beliefs whisper to me as if they think I don’t know better.
Some of the various methods I used to find healing–and still use today–are detailed below, and I invite you to try them out yourself.
Deep Breathing Exercises
Breathing is the cheapest and easiest way to improve overall health and is accessible to most everyone. I found that if I was overwhelmed, taking a minute to focus on my breathing helped bring me to a calmer state. For stress and anxiety management, I recommend incorporating these exercises into your regular routine and setting aside time to focus on your breathing.
Walks
A simple way to provide a little self-care is to set aside time for an outdoor walk. When I walk, I realize how it could help me clear my mind and provide a relatively easy daily dose of exercise in the process. Keeping a route close to home is a great way to get a schedule going as you focus on one step at a time. I have a friend who also lives with depression, and after he started his new job he decided to talk the 4 miles to it every day. I saw him recently and he said that it has made a huge difference in how he feels on a daily basis. I can only get in about 1-2 miles, but I still feel better afterwards, both physically and better that I did something good for myself.
Art
Art is a wonderful form of expression that anyone can try. While I was in my healing journey, I experimented with photography (eventually receiving a BFA) and found that this medium was a safe outlet that allowed me to expose the pain I was feeling without having to talk about it. If you feel the need to express yourself and talking or writing is too complicated, why not take up a craft that allows you to use your hands to create something that expresses how you feel.
Meditation
There is so much research that illustrates how regular meditation helps relieve stress and improve a sense of calmness. I try to put a few minutes aside each day to feel myself being in present moment experience. You don’t have to sit in lotus pose for 20 minutes in the early morning hours if you’ve never meditated before; just try 2-5 minutes when you first wake up or right before bed. Being able to shut out the world and focus on your breath, your body, a mantrum, or an image can be a quieting experience and one in which you can discover your own sense of Self. Simply set aside a small, quiet space for yourself and a time of day when you can devote just a few minutes of time to this tried and true therapy method. I once had a client who said she had absolutely no private place in her house, so I recommended going into the bathroom, locking the door, and doing her few minutes of meditation there.
Yoga
I detail in my book the moment I walked into the yoga studio and the sense of peace and hope I felt after that first session. Thinking it would only fill my solitary weekends, I discovered that it also cured my 28 years of panic attacks, greatly reduced my constantly elevated level of anger and stress, and got me out of my head and provided me with a path to be able to access a deep sense of Self that had been hidden beneath the fears, worries, and anger. As a Yoga Therapist, I’m always so happy to see when my clients have crossed that threshold of pain and discovered a quiet place within themselves.
It should be noted that these methods were not the only components of my healing journey. When I found a mental health professional who was, well, professional–and trustworthy–I stayed with her for many years. If you are seeking help, please know that it is available. Check out the following resources here.
I hope this list was helpful to you as you begin your healing journey, and I encourage you to remain open to new methods and pursue the ones that make you feel comfortable as you open up and focus on yourself. And to all of you who are living in darkness, please remember to have HOPE (Hang On, Pain Ends).